I want to begin this post by saying that I love the blogging community. It is really, truly comprised of an absolutely incredible group of women.
But it seems like a lot of women in this community who say they are recovered from their eating disorders really are not.
Just a few clarifications:
Eating 1700 calories a day is not bulking. Depending on how much you weigh and your individual metabolic rate, that is maintenance at best.
It is not normal to experience amenorrhea (lose your period). I'll be honest, sometimes I wish I would lose my period, but there are long-term consequences: osteoporosis and inadequate calcium absorption (read more here). Estrogen (levels of which may be low in women with amenorrhea) is also critically important to the muscle-building process.
It is not normal to have a screwy relationship with food. A lot of healthy living / fitness bloggers have eating-disordered pasts, so if you spend a lot of time reading these blogs, you may start to feel like a messy relationship with food is normal. It's not.
On the other hand, it is okay if you don't have a perfect relationship with your body. It is almost taboo to indicate that you want to lose weight or change anything about your body. Done in a healthy way, weight loss is okay and not a big deal. Besides, if we all admitted that we all have fat days and that we are not happy with our bodies all day every day with no exceptions, I think it would make everyone collectively feel a whole lot more normal.
Have you noticed any abnormal, negative disorders that are normalized in the blogging world?
UM THANK YOU. I have been DYING to post about this. I read very FEW blogs because some girls are SO DAMN FAKE. Eating like I DO on "contest prep" but claiming to be "Eating a TON!" posting pics all skinny and talking about "fueling their muscles." I HATE IT hahahaha my post (if it makes it onto my blog) will be much more heated ... you said it quite eloquently. Thank you for putting this out there.
ReplyDeleteThanks Liz!!! That drives me nuts too. If nothing else, it sets up horribly unrealistic expectations!
Deleteoohh I agree - I find it hard to believe that some people gain weight on 1500 calories (unless there is a medical condition)...no sweety, your just not eating enough and its a temporary gain in water.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely - I think the water gain is totally overblown, which I can understand, but still.
DeleteYES. Thank you for posting this so much. Sadly, I've had to stop reading a lot of blogs because I just got too frustrated at some of the ED tendencies or so-called "bulking" diets. :/
ReplyDeleteI know I'm totally guilty of thinking what I was eating before was bulking, but now that I'm actually having a true bulk diet of almost 3000 cals a day, I regret ever posting the old stuff. Sometimes I just have to take a step back before posting something and question if it's disordered or negative, just because I don't want any of my old ED thoughts to have influence-- you never know who it could have an impact on, ya know?
Anywho, great post! Hope you have a wonderful day Sable!! :)
I'm so glad you've stopped reading those blogs =) it's sad, especially when you have a relationship with the blogger, but you have to protect yourself, ya know?
DeleteNow that you mention it, yeah....interesting. It does seem to be "normalized" Gosh I have gotten really lean and have not lost my period even at age 45 when, two kids later, I am definitely over it!! LOL. There are parts of my body I wish looked a little different, but I focus on what my body can DO and am good with that. I figure I can't have it all, nor would I want to. There's a certain comfort in imperfection. Sable you are wise beyond your years!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Cort!! That really means a lot to me =)
DeleteI agree, but I would also add "Constantly putting yourself down but making it a joke so it doesn't come off as a steady stream of negative self talk." There's a line between being modest or having a firm grasp on reality and just plain bashing yourself which I see on a few blogs :/
ReplyDeleteThat drives me nuts too. Everyone can see through the very thin veil of humor and see what the blogger really thinks and feels..and it's sad and hard to watch!
DeleteGreat post!
ReplyDeleteAs someone who never cared about fitness/nutrition in the past (couldn't gain a pound to save my life), it's hard to relate to a lot of people who have gone through weight loss journeys. However, now that I've been cleaning up my diet, I can totally see how people stress about food intake! I'm trying to put on a couple pounds, but still pretty scary doing so, and I think seeing inspiring lifting women posting their stories helps to realize it's OKAY to want to eat tons of good food and not worry about it! I just want to tell some of these girls, "eat a cheeseburger!!" hehe.
Absolutely!!!! Gaining weight is so counterintuitive for a woman in America - it is difficult!
DeleteHOLY CRAP SABLE THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart. In my posts, I tend to 'hint' to this because I don't want to offend anyone, but honestly this NEEDS to be said. I see some girls post their meals or whatnot and claim to be 'bulking' when honestly, their entire day's worth of meals is what I eat for breakfast and lunch. I know bulking can be extremely mentally challenging and with my old eating issues I can say that based on experience I KNOW how hard it is. But seriously, I have had to quit reading some blogs due to how sad (and slightly irritated) I was from how they were not being honest with themselves about what they need in order to 'bulk.' (FYI--huge salads where the only carbs are vegetables is not 'bulking') In my opinion, if you want to build the muscle and build that 'ideal physique' then you have to suck it up and eat the food or you will get nowhere. Beating around the bush for a long period of time and lying to yourself will only cause you to see what you have been seeing for a long time! So thank you again Sable. READ MY MIND. :)
ReplyDeletehaha I've noticed that you do!! =) That's actually part of the reason I wrote this post ;-) It IS sad to see people harm themselves via their diets & I've had to remove a few from my reader, unfortunately =(
Deleteweight loss supplements is not healthy living when you're a normal healthy girl. Taking weight loss pills is not normal healthy living.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely; I completely agree!
DeleteI wrote this: http://digboston.com/think/2012/01/community-forum-healthy-living-blogs-anything-but/
ReplyDeletefor the Boston Dig about just this subject. Good for you that you were able to bring up the so-called elephant; it's never easy to broach a touchy topic.
The Boston Dig!!! I'm from Boston! =) GREAT post!
DeleteSable, you ROCK!!! I see this happen all over the blog world... it can get to you, especially if you ARE bulking. Seeing myself eating 3x as much as everyone else is hard on a "fat" day. Great reminder that much of the community isn't even eating enough to keep weight on (I'd guess well under 1700 cals).
ReplyDeleteCan you tell I'm having a fat day? LOL!
We all have 'em!! =) Totally normal!!
DeleteAgain - I always love your honesty. When I started blogging, I had NO idea how prevalent eating disorders truly were. More and more I was seeing blog posts about eating disorders either past or present and was shocked. And I really don't like the WIAW posts b/c I think it can send wrong messages. You see what people are posting (not everyone mind you, definitely not everyone) but you see so many and I'm freaking hungry for them. And I think it's so easy to get caught up in being so uber over the top healthy clean eating that you lose sight of what's good and bad. I feel like I'm really just rambling....I guess I'm just noticing things going to the extreme.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you - some people's contributions to WIAW are shocking. =(
DeleteYES! I agree re: the WIAW posts... when I first started blogging, I thought about joining and then decided against it because i don't think they'd really like to see what i'm eating. Haha! It's definitely not a small salad with some nuts on the side. =/
DeleteOh gosh, I hope I don't commit any of these things. I really worry that I come off as fake like some of the other bloggers out there. You're my favourite for a reason <3
ReplyDeleteSomething I have never talked about on the blog is my amenorrhea. I know it's not normal and I'm desperately trying to find the cause, but I know it's not from eating enough, that's for sure! I also tried cutting out exercise completely for a while, and that didn't help either. It's frustrating but I don't really want to talk about it until I know more...
You don't do ANY of these things!!!
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear about the amenorrhea =( The ONLY time I lost my period was for 10 or 11 months when I was recovering from my eating disorder... when I was GAINING weight & was finally at a healthy weight! It was bizarre; no one could explain it and eventually it just came back on its own. =/ I hope it's the same for you - and soon!
Well, I've never had a regular period in my life. Even when I was a teenager before my ED, I only got one every 5-6 months. There is a mystery reason behind it, but I'm determined to get to the bottom of it!
DeleteYes yes yes THIS! So glad you posted this.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of ladies that have struggled in the past DO turn to blogging and the supportive healthy community, so that food issues DO seem to congregate/multiply in the blog world. Not a bad thing, but it also DOES tend to normalize unhealthy behaviors. GREAT points that you make! Of course everyone has challenges with eating well, body image, etc., but not everyone has a disordered relationship with food.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely! It seems like 2 out of 3 healthy living bloggers have had an eating disorder in the past.
DeleteI completely agree and I fear that I commit these sins, as well - although I do my best not to! I've had to stop reading certain blogs b/c they were triggering me and making me feel the need to compete with their restriction. Now that I'm doing paleo, I'm finding myself less interested in the plethora of blogs that promote low-fat foods - I'm trying to increase fat and cut out the crap, not the other way around!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for posting this!
I love you for this. This wonderful community has been hard for me to relate to as of late because I just feel too..normal. There is a fine line where healthy habits cross into permanent neurosis and I'm finding it in more and more bloggers aged 16 to 56. I hate watching the train wreck knowing they've buried themselves too deep.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I worry the blogging world is sensationalizing EDs and making it "cool" to have had one. When all your favorite bloggers come out at once with their tales of overcoming the demon, I worry it prompts readers to go through the same path because the story of overcoming the ED is stronger than the "love your body" message tacked on the end. I have a lot of respect for those who have fought their way out of hauntingly dangerous situations and I trust it helps those already in its midst to hear about overcoming obstacles - but too often I think the blogger storyteller isn't totally healed. I think you, Sable, covered your experience very respectfully and artfully without giving the ED the creative weight some people take with it.
Especially I worry about some of the very young women whose blogs I've found- healthy living is an important life time habit but I'm not sure they quite realize the damage they are doing to their psyche or their bodies. The question is: will there be a way to prioritize a healthy lifestyle without becoming obsessed?
Ah you are awesome- love your honesty! Another thing that drives me loco is when bloggers "refuel" after workouts with a pathetic salad...ie just veggies with a boiled egg or 2...oh and then follow it up with "I am stuffed." it's sad that such behaviour is so common that it seems like the norm.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Way to get out there and address the elephant in the room :) I wish more people in the blog world were as honest as you.
ReplyDeleteLove this post! My goal used to be "lose fat" but I just felt like crap and I missed food. When I read about fitness models and competitors, it seems to me that their diets are borderline OCD and are their own form of eating disorders that just haven't been defined yet. I've made a few diet changes, I'm now in the "healthy" bracket and I'm coming to terms with this body: it may not be runway ready, but it's is pretty damn strong. :) Thanks again for posting this.
ReplyDeletei cant tell you the number of blogs i simply do not read anymore because they promite healthy living and all they eat are big bowls of romaine lettuce with mustard. its so sad. so many of these young ladies 'know' they probably do not have a healthy relationship with food but just will not see it. im very happy you posted about this
ReplyDeleteHonestly I believe it is just a lack of education or misinformation that these women have. I don't think their intention is bad, I just don't think they know any better. For them I believe they think they are helping others. I wouldn't be surprised if in a few years when these women finally figure out that what they are doing to achieve a healthy and good physique is not working, they will be forced to find the truth and get real with their issues and hopefully change their unhealthy views for the sake of themselves and for others that they may have influenced along the way.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I am so grateful for people like you and who promote a TRUE healthy body image and talk about the importance of REAL nutrition. You have the ability to influence many in such a positive way! Great post as always girl!
Oh I totally hear you on this one!!! So much disordered eating, which makes me sad. But you're right it is not "normal" by any stretch. It seems a shame that an interest in healthy living and eating disorders seem almost interrelated (at least in the blog world). Im glad that people with EDs blog and have a medium to share, I'm sure it is therapeutic. But it is definitely scary how many people are suffering with EDs. Thank you for writing this! I hope it has helped others realize that what others eat is not necessarily normal or healthy and are cautious with the advice they take.
ReplyDeleteI think saying it's "impossible" to be bulking at 1700 calories is really misinforming. not everyone can eat 2000+ calories a day in a healthy/building way. Every person is individual and honestly I think bragging about how many calories you bulk/diet on is really a horrible part of this community.
ReplyDeleteIf I hit 1700 calories off season it's to build and I gain fat very fast with that. To each their own, but I'm not going to feel bad that I "only" eat so many calories to bulk. I know my body and know that it is what it is. I'm not disordered because I can't eat like a horse.
You are absolutely right - I should have used a lower number. I know some of us shorties have much lower requirements for maintenance / gaining than tall gals. I definitely do not eat like a horse to gain either - I did, and I gained A TON of fat, and thought there was no way I was gaining fat because everyone else said they ate that much & didn't gain fat.
DeleteAnd then I wound up like 30lb overweight. So, yeah. Totally get what you're saying.
I'm really glad you posted about this, and judging by the other comments, lots of people have thought about doing the same! You make some good points, and I've noticed these things too on many many blogs. I really only read a select few because I find that a lot of them either make me angry, frustrated, or just plain sad for the people writing them. I actually think that sometimes it's kind of just for bragging rights, but I'm not sure who exactly they're bragging to. I do love how you have been very honest and open about your competition diet vs. maintenance vs. bulking, because they're all so very different!!
ReplyDeleteWell, there's not much I can add to the very intelligent and observant comments above, but what I will say that it's not the undereating that gets to me. It's the dishonesty with regard to intentions that really pushes my buttons. I have no issue with anyone wanting to be any size at all, even if that size is 'unhealthy' because honestly, I think sometimes the psychological distress of being bigger than you want to be is not necessarily worth being 'healthy' by a subjective definition. As you say, we're allowed to want to be thinner, or be dissatisfied. Self-improvement, up to a point, is not a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteHowever, when I see all of this 'I am recovered and the world is made of rainbows' bullsh*t followed by pictures of meals containing either chicken or shrimp with a tiny side of vegetables, I do get really annoyed. Because you cannot love yourself that much at any size, and then eat in a way that is obviously designed to control your weight. It's just lying, to yourself and/or your readers. The disparity between the love your body messages and the images of the bloggers themselves, and their meals, is alarming. I also can't stand the language, such as 'refuelling' and all of that - just eat something for God's sake; it doesn't have to be justified by a specific strength workout.
Anyway, none of this would bother me in the context of 'I am skinny, I eat to stay this way, end of story.' What gets to me are the lies and sheer level of deception some people will stoop to in order to be considered a role model.
xxx
What a great post and I can't add much else but I agree with it all.
ReplyDeleteI know this post is already 'old' but i just love you so much for saying this! I can't stand how some girls talk about 'bulking' 'building muscle' while they are only eating egg white omelets and salads.
ReplyDeleteYes i eat a salad everyday for lunch, but i load it up with a HUGE sweet potato, half an avocado, and a whooollleee lot of nuts.
1700 kcal? i'd lose weight like crazy. Even on my small frame.
Thanks for saying what we've all been thinking :)
So glad you brought this to attention!
ReplyDeleteThere are so many people in the blogworld that say they're recovered or have a 100% healthy relationship with food but would run away screaming from a brownie. Recovery is different for everyone, but I think a lot of people are fooling themselves a little bit.
I have noticed a LOT of fetishisms and concentrations on weird things to the point of distraction that seem sort of tangential but they treat it as central.
ReplyDeleteI also see people follow along when people are going off the cliff - like someone who is dieting or trying to eat conscientiously - has cultivated that crowd and then takes a dive and posts a series of pictures of cakes and lasagna with the damn recipes and the crowd reading does not say "What gives?". Instead they say "Oh yum, I am gonna make that." Complete bull.
A small woman with small bones and low activity level may gain on 1500 - even if she is healthy. A person who has racked their metabolism with severe dieting can gain weight on less than 1500. I have seen it. Mom and sister now cannot eat over 1000 calories and not gain - of course they are anorexic and maintain very low weights.