First of all, I fast for at least 16 hours (usually more like 20 hours) a day.
Most of the time this isn't really a problem because I don't get lunch breaks at work; I can't meet a friend or family member for lunch anyway. On weekends, I'll suggest going out for coffee or dinner, or going to the Farmer's Market.
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| Leftovers from a coffee date with Max =) |
If a family member or close friend asks about my eating habits, I have no problem talking about intermittent fasting. I usually explain it as simply as I can, because the last thing most normal people want to talk about for hours is nutrition. I'll say something like, "I fast every day until about 5pm, which helps me get all my calories in around my workouts. It really simplifies my lifestyle." And 90% of the time, people are like, Oh cool! That's interesting. Now let's talk about something more interesting. Which is fine by me.
I am also not currently indulging at every opportunity and each family gathering because, well, I'm cutting. It doesn't usually make people uncomfortable when I refuse a piece of cake, but if it does, I'm upfront, open, and cut right to the point with a simple "No thanks." If they continue to push, I'll say, "I'm trying to lose a couple of pounds," and smile. Normally that's the end of the conversation but because of my past, sometimes my family pushes further: "You look great; you're healthy; why are you trying to lose a few pounds?!"
This is where a specific goal comes in handy. Right now, I'm trying to ensure that I compete in the 132lb weight class at the meet I want to participate in; ideally, I'd like to weigh about 128 just in case I'm holding some water during weigh-ins. So that's what I tell anyone who is concerned, after assuring them that I am healthy and I'm not going to slide back down into anorexia again.
How do you explain your diet and nutrition choices to family & friends?
Oh gosh, this is a never ending battle for me. Everyone in my family just asks so many questions. My friends usually just accept what I tell them, but they have this look on their face like WTF. Haha
ReplyDeleteEvery Sunday Rob and I go to his brother's house and have lunch with him and his wife. His wife (bless her!) is French and incredibly stubborn and argumentative. I usually just sit there as quiet as possible but her and Rob are *always* arguing, especially about nutrition. She thinks what we do is "f*ing ridiculous", and she will never understand why we don't just "enjoy food" like her. Her diet is mainly bread, cheese and wine! She doesn't eat very much of it, so she's thin, but it's just so frustrating having the same conversation all the time and being told that we're stupid. Ah, gotta love the French ;)
Honestly I don't even understand why people get all emotional and defensive about food. It's *food.* Something we're lucky to have in these huge quantities and varieties. Ugh.
DeleteSince I was diagnosed with celiac disease I have to explain my illness and the diet. Pretty exhausting… some people have to hear it again and again…
ReplyDeleteUgh - I really feel for you =( I feel like the fact that everyone is doing the gluten-free-fad-diet thing just makes YOUR life harder - people see "gluten sensitive" individuals (in reality, dieters) occasionally eat gluten, which makes them think that people with Celiacs can do the same thing. How frustrating.
DeleteI'm fairly lucky in the respect that I only have three family members (parents and one Uncle) that I see regularly and they all understand my 'weird' eating habits. So I'm not under any pressure to explain.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I'm always suspicious when someone is overly concerned and/or interrogative about other people's eating habits: it usually means that they've got some agenda themsleves. 'Normal' people just aren't that interested in what another person is eating, and certainly aren't bothered about it to the extent of turning it into an overly emotive issue or a point of contention. In that case I'd be blunt and tell them to worry about themselves before they judge anyone else.
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I completely agree with you. Normal people do not care about other people's diets - especially not to the point of becoming hostile. I don't know *where* that kind of thinking comes from but I do try to stay away from it, given my past tendencies.
DeleteSometimes I get so tired of trying to explain vegetarianism to people. My family and close friends totally get it now. But when I meet new people, they either think it's cool or have no idea how I can possibly survive without meat. They all assume I miss it, crave it, that I'm somehow depriving myself. I have a set little bit I tell people then move along to another topic.
ReplyDeletehaha - almost like a super short stump speech? :) Funny how everyone thinks they know how you should/do feel on your diet better than you, isn't it?
DeleteI think it's crazy that those of us with better-than-average eating habits have to explain ourselves to those who eat in the typical American fashion with very little thought to what they ingest. It's so backward!! I laugh at how often people say my lunches look good when it's super simple food that probably was quicker than their fast food.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, I tie my choices back to performance and the ability to train and race at peak and people seem to accept that. However, I'm not gluten free, vegetarian, etc. I'm *just* basically junk free. People seem alright with that, but less so with the idea of excluding food types. It's probably their own fear that triggers that response, the idea of being "denied" a food. Silly, yes.
Be proud of your food choices and ability to manage your own nutrition! Screw anyone who has a problem with it!
It is backward! You'd think we'd all pressure each other to make healthy choices since that benefits society the most, but nope. We harrass the outliers who choose to eat the most healthily. It's so strange.
DeleteI don't know why people are so weird about eating habits. It's like your post from last week, that you would never walk up to someone and say "You really shouldn't be eating that" and yet if you decide not to eat something in front of someone they freak out.
ReplyDeleteMost of my family and friends know that I am trying to lose 100 lbs, so fortunately they don't really say anything and I don't have to explain myself. My mom is pretty used to my crazy eating habits anyways and I usually just work my meal plan around other people if I have plans with friends.
Exactly! How weird is that? Certain members of my extended family criticize me for eating salad & veggies when we go out but if I ever criticized one of them for ordering dessert, they would react horribly (with reason).
DeleteI agree with some of the others that many times people question eating habits not out of true curiosity, but more out of their own fear/insecurity of what They eat. (Obviously not true all of the time, but sometimes). I eat a fairly "regular" diet (in my mind anyway), so I don't usually have to do a whole lot of explaining, I just really try to eat clean as often as possible. However, sometimes I do go through guilty feelings when I go back home and don't want to eat the foods that I used to eat with my mom when I was younger. She'll buy foods that we used to eat (and love) together, and even though it's not her intention, it makes me feel bad to say No thank you! This is just something that I have to work on myself though -- it's OK to say no (even to Mom), and taking care of myself has to take priority over trying to keep everyone else happy!
ReplyDeleteThis is something I definitely struggle with too, especially with Max's family. They express their love through cookies and pasta and desserts and it's like, okay, but I can't be doing that all the time! haha! It feels bad to say no though.
DeleteUhg this is something I am currently struggling with. My family thinks if I'm not eating or if I only have a something small to eat I'm going the wrong way but they don't know my goals or what I've eaten previously! It's also been a struggle with my fiancé being back. He's usually a good influence on me but lately he's been indulging a lot more which has led me to eating more!
ReplyDeletehaha I don't like explaining intermittent fasting to people either. I'm just like --ehhh it's what I'm doing--
Max can be SUCH a bad influence on me too. He actually really, really seems to have an eating disorder, or at least suffer from severely disordered eating: he restricts very strictly for 3-4 days, then his dissatisfaction with his appearance reaches a boiling point, he binges (like, 10,000+ calories in a day) for 1-2 days, and then he restricts again. It's really difficult for me to be around that and not participate in it :/ And of course, I am trying to help him but as you know, you have to be ready for help before you'll ever use it =(
DeleteUm...I just say that I've been working on my fitness and want to kick it up a notch so my nutrition has come into play a lot more. Most people are fine with it, the odd person gives me sh!t though but it's usually out of jealousy. What they don't know is that it's hard work and at the moment, not to be jealous of!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to not judge people who aren't, as I see it, eating mindfully but if I don't want to be that annoying person harping on about eating better and being all holier than though, haha!
Oh definitely! I try really, really hard not to preach about diet and nutrition. I know no one wants to hear that crap haha!
DeleteMy diet isn't too drastic from a typical diet, but I somehow manage to annoy people for eating too little AND too much. How it that even possible? When I got on vacation with people they are shocked that I am eating breakfast, snacks, lunch, etc. But then come dinner, I'm (SURPRISE) not excited to eat a three coal meal! People should just relax. Unless someone is going hungry from LACK of food, there's no problem!
ReplyDeleteUgh! Some people seem to just WANT to be annoyed!
DeleteI agree. I think pretty much the whole planet could benefit from a chill pill or two ;-)
Ughhhh! When I started my 12 week challenge back in Feb, my (male) housemates DID NOT GET IT. 'Why are you going on a diet? You're already skinny', 'you'll fade away', etc etc.
ReplyDeleteI had to explain over and over that I'm not ON a diet, I'm trying to lose fat, I don't WANT to be skinny and so and so forth. I don't know why people feel the need to comment.
I've never told them what they should and shouldn't be eating, so why should they tell ME? Why is bad to be eating nutritious food?
I think they just got used to my 'weird' food :-)
It does really seem like everyone's got a comment & an opinion!
DeleteAnd you are completely right - it seems like everyone wants to tell dieters what they should eat/indulge in, but god forbid anyone tell someone NOT to eat a piece of cake or an extra serving of lasagna or what have you.
It's weird, but people are so much more understanding if your weight loss goal has to do with an athletic event. If I say "I want to compete in this weight class" versus "I want to fit into a size #" people are less inclined to push like you mentioned.
ReplyDeleteSo even though I don't have any immediate plans to compete in a powerlifting competition, it makes a good excuse since one of my goals does happen to be being competitive in a lower weight class eventually.
They REALLY are! I've tried both - once I was dieting down to get back into a size 4 (and not even because I LOVED how I looked as a size 4 - I still found things to pick apart, surprise surprise, but because a lot of my clothes were that size haha), and this time 'round I've been dieting down to hit a number for a competition. And people give me a LOT less crap this time! Works like a charm =D
Deleteso, i can relate to this. not that my diet is quite as unusual as yours (fascinated by the fasting thing!), but i certainly eat differently from the average person. my family always sneers at my large intake of veggies - but secretly i think they all wish they could eat more themselves. you have to do what makes your body feel the best it can. and it is hard enough to turn down cake in the first place!
ReplyDeleteExactly! I totally respect everyone else's diet because I figure everyone else knows what works for them personally. Every body is different!!
Deletewhat I do is NOT talk about it at all and I find thats the best way! I just do my thing, eat what I eat and there really is no need to 'explain' One of my biggest pet peeves is when people explain what and why they are eating what they are eating beforehand. Half the people probably could care less nad half just will think its strage you have to explain. Just do your thing. Your body you can control what goes in it!
ReplyDeleteWHOOPS, I TOTALLY thought I mentioned this in the post - I never just OFFER information out of nowhere; this is just how I respond when I'm asked =) You're right, most people don't even care enough to ask / don't notice, but it's inevitable that someone ultimately will & does!! =)
Deleteit's hard talking about this with new people. my whole family knows that i eat a certain way and they'll always have food available for me. but j's family didn't know in the beginning and it was a little awkward at first. when i was vegan it was easy - i just don't eat those foods. but how do you say, no, i'm a recovering e.d. and i don't feel comfortable eating those foods. luckily j's mom is really intuitive and sensed my discomfort right away. she does amazing at making me feel non-judged and accepted. i'm lucky!
ReplyDeletei like your farmer's market idea. i'm going to use that when friends suggest going out for a drink!
I remember that phase =( and it was not fun. I didn't admit it to most people - mostly I kind of hid and stayed home and ate my gradually increasing group of safe foods, but there were several people who had accused me of having an ED (of course I'd denied it 49587x - angrily to boot) and I had to come clean and say, well, you were right, and now I'm recovering so please just let me do my thing.
DeleteYou are SUPER lucky to have J's mom! She sounds like a great lady =)
I just lie to everyone that I am not close with or people I dont want to tell. I IF as well and am loving it. It really simplifies meal prep which makes my life surprisingly less stressful. Anyway, I just say "I already ate" or "I had a huge breakfast". It just seems easier than explaining your diet to some people. I hate at work we have pizza days sometimes and I just bring a lunch usually and say "ohh I forgot it was going to be pizza day" hehe sneeakky
ReplyDeleteI do this sometimes too! My bosses are in their 70s, from Eastern Europe, and very set in their ways so I don't even bother trying to explain anything; I just politely decline all the food they offer me. It's stuff I would never eat anyway - like blood sausages O_O
DeleteI am sure blood sausage is good (a lot of people think so) but I dont think I would ever eat it. My grandpa used to offer me some kind of meat and made me eat it without telling me what it is. I have eaten head cheese and toungue without knowing it. I was like 10 though and dont remember it, I also learned from my mistakes and dont take random meat from him anymore when he offers :)
DeleteOh geez. hahaha! I solemnly swear I will never do anything like that to my children or grandchildren. I ate some disgusting things as a kid...but they were my own fault! I have a distinct memory of taking a stick of margarine out of the fridge and just biting into it O_O
DeleteI just tell people i have food allergies which explains why i show up with my plastic container of chicken and rice...
ReplyDeleteNow enoufh about me, when are u competing???
I *was* thinking about a meet in July but none of the local meets are really good for beginners - they're HUGE, apparently, based on emails with the organizers - so I may be waiting all the way until October!
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